"I'm the decider, and I decide what's best."
-- George W. Bush

"Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant -
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone -
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.)

"Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee -
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)"

-- Laura E. Richards, Eletelephony.

"The authentic self is the soul made visible."
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"When you learn to be flexible, amazing opportunities reveal themselves".
-- Fortune Cookie

"Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning".
-- George Carlin

"The truth is always a compound of two half- truths, and you never reach it, because there is always something more to say."
-- Tom Stoppard

“Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.”
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Blame someone else and get on with your life."
-- Alan Woods

"There are people I know who won't hurt me. I call them corpses".
-- Randy K. Milholland

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- - Russell Lynes, as quoted by dAAve

"When I was younger, my mom never used to let me come here. She thought it was nasty. But, I've got my own money now."
-- Shamell Jackson, age 15, on his frequent visits to McDonald's, in
today's New York Times.

"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all".
-- William Goldman

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it".
-- C.P. Snow

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be".
-- Kurt Vonnegut

"i wanted different things. i fought so hard to be myself. i didn't want
to be fake. i don't fake anything. not sex, not anything..."
-- cyndi lauper, in the new york times magazine, tomorrow.

"Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it."
-- Mark Twain

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it".
-- Alan Kay

"A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping".
-- Kenneth Tynan

"Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life."
-- Fortune Cookie

"The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion."
-- G.K. Chesterton