"He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes."
-- James Thurber

"NYC is home to more than 8 million people, so why is it so hard to meet someone nice?"
-- TONYpersonals.com

"Hydrate. Then exfoliate. Then moisturize, and then exercise, and then floss."
-- ellen degeneres, in her commencement address at tulane university.

"Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry".
-- George Ade

"I'm not wearing underwear today,
No, I'm not wearing underwear today.
Not that you probably care
Much about my underwear
Still none the less I gotta say
That I'm not wearing underwear today"
-- Avenue Q

“Let the little fairy in you fly!”
-- Rufus Wainwright


Image from Lisboacultural.pt.

"What they were saying was, they like to be entertained, and I think our shows are entertaining..."
-- Aaron Spelling, 1923-2006


Image from CBS News.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe."
-- Laurence J. Peter

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
-- George Burns

"when you meet somebody great, tear off your brassiere (metaphorically) and scream from the nearest mountaintop. don't be coy. don't strategize. don't play hide and seek: surrender!"
-- simon doonan, my ten gay commandments in pride: the official magazine of interpride 2006.

"don't let your happiness be contigent on anyone else's approval or disapproval. Tell any detractors where they can shove their negativity. and if that doesn't work, move to a bigger town."
-- simon doonan, my ten gay commandments in pride: the official magazine of interpride 2006.

"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."
-- Isaac Newton

"keep your eye on the ball and your head on the game."
-- mac anderson

"Just hanging out doesn't put food in your mouth. And as you know, until I had the gastric bypass, I liked to put food in my mouth. So I knew I had to work hard."
-- Al Roker, Commencement address to Shaw University.

"The great thing about computers is that anything you imagine can now be put on the screen. The terrible thing is that anything you imagine can now be put on the screen."
-- Phil Tippet, Animatronic and F/X designer

"If you want a future darling, why don't you get a past?"
-- Eartha Kitt

"every excess becomes a vice."
-- fortune cookie

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it".
-- Jane Wagner

"of course i'm for gay marriage i mean for tax reasons. anybody should be able to have a kid that wants that. everybody should be able to get married if they love each other. do i personally want to walk down the aisle? no. to me, it's a corny heterosexual tradition that i can't stand going to. i want to invest in divorce and tattoo removal."
-- john waters

"Oh, I have no I.Q."
-- Carol Channing, in Hello Dollys! by Jesse Green in Sunday's New York Times.

"Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present / love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure / the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth."
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying".
-- Bertrand Russell

"Let not the sands of time get in your lunch".
-- National Lampoon

"Nothing from nothing leaves nothing
You gotta have something, if you wanna be with me."
-- Billy Preston, 1946-2006

"To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition."
-- Samuel Johnson

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age".
-- George Burns

"More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them".
-- Harold J. Smith

"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time".
-- George Orwell

"I love being in the spotlight, but there's also something to be said about having an office to go to and being responsible for the people who are on your payroll."
-- Joan Rivers

"Put all your eggs in one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET!"
-- Mark Twain