"People Pleasers are always seeking the validation of others for all that they do. Unfortunately, their deep feelings of inadequacy rob them of actually hearing how important and appreciated they are to their receiver. When People Pleasers are acting from their emotional wounds, their self-sabotage comes from their inability to hear what another might truly want from them. Looking through their own filter of "How can I please you?" cuts them off from hearing, listening to, and being in touch with appropriate behavior, thereby cutting themselves off at the foot. The shadow of People Pleasers is their deep shame that they are nothing without you. "You" is whomever they happen to be attached to at the moment, together with the deeds they are doing on "your" behalf to prove how necessary they are... What is the People Pleaser's shame? Useless,forgettable, insigificant, disposable, needy, unwanted, passive aggressive".
-- Debbie Ford, Why Good People Do Bad Things