"George Bush seems as unbeatable as any unbeatable incumbent has ever been... While there are lots of people who would like to believe they can passionately will this not to be true, the main premise of this election is a deep fatalism about the inevitability of George Bush. Nothing short of cataclysm would appear to be able to dislodge him. Such a stoic sense of reality makes the primaries ?the upset in Iowa last week, the attempt to regain footing in New Hampshire this week ?seem something like fantasy baseball and the people out in Iowa and New Hampshire like quaint hobbyists (if not weird cultists)...
The preposterous rise of Howard Dean was the initial reaction to the Bush lock: What do we have to lose? Let?s be bold?. The backlash against Dean, the second: What have we done here? We?re not just going to be creamed, we?re going to be a laughingstock."
-- Michael Wolff, New York Magazine

"I will never engage in a winter sport with an ambulance parked at bottom of the hill."
-- Erma Bombeck

"I can't shut my eyes, I'm afraid of the dark."
-- Steve Taylor

"Most people think I've been in the witness protection program."
-- Jack Paar, 1918-2004, from The New York Times

"Everyone thinks Ed Sullivan discovered the Beatles. That's not true. I had them on before he did. I did it because I thought they were funny, not because I liked the music. I'm a Muzak kind of guy — my home's like living in an elevator."
-- Jack Paar, 1918-2004, from The New York Times

"I stay driven 'cause there's nowhere to park..."
-- Steve Taylor

"Nietzche is dead."
-- God

"God is dead."
-- Nietzche

"Play is the work of children. It's very serious stuff. And if it's properly structured in a developmental program, children can blossom."
-- Bob Keeshan, Captain Kangaroo, 1927-2004

"I made it with my lucky legs, my mother, and a lot of backbreaking hard work."
-- Ann Miller, 1923-2004, as quoted by Playbill

"Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked!"
-- Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls.

"Where are you going to get the jury pool from, Mars?"
-- Judy Leon, of Bowne DecisionQuest, a litigation advisory firm, regarding Martha Stewart's trial which begins Jury Selection today in Lower Manhattan. In the New York Times.

"Dr. [Martin Luther] King invoked God-given and constitutional rights in defense of extending civil rights to every man. He believed in his country's distinct ability to maintain a steadfast commitment to its values even when institutional realities pointed in other directions. Dr. King personified the American creed. That it was Ronald Reagan who bestowed on Dr. King the honor of a national holiday should no longer come as a surprise."
-- Kiron K. Skinner, assistant professor of history and political science at Carnegie Mellon University, and member of the Defense Policy Board, in The New York Times.

"If you obey all the rules... you miss all the fun."
-- Katharine Hepburn

"The sad thing about puppetry is that people think it's just for kids. They bring along their infants and toddlers nowadays so that the puppeteer will jiggle their dollies. It's frustrating as an artist and has caused many people to flee the profession."
-- Unknown, from Puppetry and Links.

"I work at the Palace Ballroom,
But gee, that Palace is cheap.
When I get back to my chilly apartment
I'm much too tired to sleep.

I'm one of those lady teachers,
A beautiful hostess, you know.
The kind the Palace features
At exactly a dime a throw.

Ten cents a dance,
That's what they pay me,
Gosh, how they wear me down!
Ten cents a dance,
Pansies and rough guys,
Tough guys who tear my gown.

Seven to midnight I hear drums,
Loudly the saxophone blows,
Trumpets are breaking my eardrums,
Customers crush my toes.

Sometimes I think I've found my hero,
But it's a queer old man.
All that you need is a ticket:
Come on, Big Boy, ten cents a dance!

Fighters and sailors and bowlegged tailors
Can pay for a ticket and rent me!
Butchers and barbers and rats from the harbor
And sweethearts my good luck has sent me!

Though I've a chorus of elderly beaus,
Stockings are porous with holes in the toes!
I'm dead at closing time!
Dance, sounding merry, it's only a dime!

(Refrain)"

-- Lorenz Hart, Lyricist, Ten Cents A Dance as sung by Ruth Etting, in 1930.

"The Buddha could accomplish the enlightened mind because its very nature was already there. That is why buddhahood—enlightenment—is possible. If there were no no such nature or potential, it would be impossible".
-- Dalai Lama, Imagine All The People, from the book Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations, as quoted on Human Bacon.

"Deterioration is offset by a deeper sense of gratitude"
-- Diane Keaton, on the subject of aging

"Santorum: Pronunciation: san-TOR-um
Function: noun
Etymology: Savage Love - 05/29/03
1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."
-- Dan Savage, of Savage Love

"In a relationship, there can be a lot of fun in fantasy. You can play the strong one or the little boy or the manly man who grabs a chick by the hair and drags her to the bedroom. I've always been such a strong kind of guy, I like playing the innocent more often."
-- Patrick Swayze, telling reporter Andrew Goldman in Elle, as quoted by Liz Smith today.