I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep."
I said, "But I don't know how."
She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left."
So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right.
My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
-- Steven Wright

"Laugh and the world laughs with you;
snore and you sleep alone."
-- Anthony Burgess