"George Bush seems as unbeatable as any unbeatable incumbent has ever been... While there are lots of people who would like to believe they can passionately will this not to be true, the main premise of this election is a deep fatalism about the inevitability of George Bush. Nothing short of cataclysm would appear to be able to dislodge him. Such a stoic sense of reality makes the primaries ?the upset in Iowa last week, the attempt to regain footing in New Hampshire this week ?seem something like fantasy baseball and the people out in Iowa and New Hampshire like quaint hobbyists (if not weird cultists)...
The preposterous rise of Howard Dean was the initial reaction to the Bush lock: What do we have to lose? Let?s be bold?. The backlash against Dean, the second: What have we done here? We?re not just going to be creamed, we?re going to be a laughingstock."
-- Michael Wolff, New York Magazine

"I will never engage in a winter sport with an ambulance parked at bottom of the hill."
-- Erma Bombeck

"I can't shut my eyes, I'm afraid of the dark."
-- Steve Taylor

"Most people think I've been in the witness protection program."
-- Jack Paar, 1918-2004, from The New York Times

"Everyone thinks Ed Sullivan discovered the Beatles. That's not true. I had them on before he did. I did it because I thought they were funny, not because I liked the music. I'm a Muzak kind of guy — my home's like living in an elevator."
-- Jack Paar, 1918-2004, from The New York Times

"I stay driven 'cause there's nowhere to park..."
-- Steve Taylor

"Nietzche is dead."
-- God

"God is dead."
-- Nietzche

"Play is the work of children. It's very serious stuff. And if it's properly structured in a developmental program, children can blossom."
-- Bob Keeshan, Captain Kangaroo, 1927-2004

"I made it with my lucky legs, my mother, and a lot of backbreaking hard work."
-- Ann Miller, 1923-2004, as quoted by Playbill

"Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked!"
-- Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls.

"Where are you going to get the jury pool from, Mars?"
-- Judy Leon, of Bowne DecisionQuest, a litigation advisory firm, regarding Martha Stewart's trial which begins Jury Selection today in Lower Manhattan. In the New York Times.

"Dr. [Martin Luther] King invoked God-given and constitutional rights in defense of extending civil rights to every man. He believed in his country's distinct ability to maintain a steadfast commitment to its values even when institutional realities pointed in other directions. Dr. King personified the American creed. That it was Ronald Reagan who bestowed on Dr. King the honor of a national holiday should no longer come as a surprise."
-- Kiron K. Skinner, assistant professor of history and political science at Carnegie Mellon University, and member of the Defense Policy Board, in The New York Times.

"If you obey all the rules... you miss all the fun."
-- Katharine Hepburn

"The sad thing about puppetry is that people think it's just for kids. They bring along their infants and toddlers nowadays so that the puppeteer will jiggle their dollies. It's frustrating as an artist and has caused many people to flee the profession."
-- Unknown, from Puppetry and Links.

"I work at the Palace Ballroom,
But gee, that Palace is cheap.
When I get back to my chilly apartment
I'm much too tired to sleep.

I'm one of those lady teachers,
A beautiful hostess, you know.
The kind the Palace features
At exactly a dime a throw.

Ten cents a dance,
That's what they pay me,
Gosh, how they wear me down!
Ten cents a dance,
Pansies and rough guys,
Tough guys who tear my gown.

Seven to midnight I hear drums,
Loudly the saxophone blows,
Trumpets are breaking my eardrums,
Customers crush my toes.

Sometimes I think I've found my hero,
But it's a queer old man.
All that you need is a ticket:
Come on, Big Boy, ten cents a dance!

Fighters and sailors and bowlegged tailors
Can pay for a ticket and rent me!
Butchers and barbers and rats from the harbor
And sweethearts my good luck has sent me!

Though I've a chorus of elderly beaus,
Stockings are porous with holes in the toes!
I'm dead at closing time!
Dance, sounding merry, it's only a dime!

(Refrain)"

-- Lorenz Hart, Lyricist, Ten Cents A Dance as sung by Ruth Etting, in 1930.

"The Buddha could accomplish the enlightened mind because its very nature was already there. That is why buddhahood—enlightenment—is possible. If there were no no such nature or potential, it would be impossible".
-- Dalai Lama, Imagine All The People, from the book Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations, as quoted on Human Bacon.

"Deterioration is offset by a deeper sense of gratitude"
-- Diane Keaton, on the subject of aging

"Santorum: Pronunciation: san-TOR-um
Function: noun
Etymology: Savage Love - 05/29/03
1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."
-- Dan Savage, of Savage Love

"In a relationship, there can be a lot of fun in fantasy. You can play the strong one or the little boy or the manly man who grabs a chick by the hair and drags her to the bedroom. I've always been such a strong kind of guy, I like playing the innocent more often."
-- Patrick Swayze, telling reporter Andrew Goldman in Elle, as quoted by Liz Smith today.

"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything."
-- Thomas Edison

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
-- Tallulah Bankhead

"Come off it, Martha!"
Paul Lynde, The Paul Lynde Show

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."
-- Sir John Lubbock

"If you want to see my penis, you’ll have to fly to Britain... It does amuse me, the horrific violence that comes out of American cinema. But someone's cock is too much... If I'd blown away 5,000 people with a semiautomatic machine gun, that would be fine. But I showed my penis."
-- Ewan McGregor, on his disappointment with Sony Classics on editing out a scene that showed full frontal nudity from the U.S. release of Young Adam, in Premiere Magazine. (Interested readers should know that McGregor's penis is also on display in Trainspotting and Velvet Goldmine.) As quoted on Cinema Eye.

If blindness is a limitation,
it is so in quite the same way
as innumerable other characteristics
to which human flesh is heir
-- Kenneth Jernigan, Blindness: Handicap or Characteristic

"Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health,
happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends
feel there is something in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think
only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Be as
enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your won. Forget
the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the
future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that
you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too
noble for anger."
-- Christian D. Larson, Creed for Optimists

"I think George Bush is going to win in a walk... I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way.... "The Lord has just blessed him... I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him."
-- Pat Robertson on the 700 Club.

"Maybe Pat got a message from Karl Rove and thought it was from God."
-- Rev. Barry W. Lynn, Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

"You have the possibility of playing two different roles that many people imagine are incompatible. Who cares what they think? You can definitely go both ways without being either a contradiction or a fake."
-- Robert Brezny, Real Astrology

"...I invite you to do the following ritual to mark this date in history and powerfully choose to give up the old for the new. Begin by making a list of all that you are willing to let go of. Write down all the thoughts, behaviors, excuses, fears or justifications that have stopped you in the past. Then look over that list and see how all of it has served you. Be willing to receive the gifts of your past actions, for hidden within them is vital wisdom that can be used as fuel to propel you toward the future you desire. After you have extracted these lessons and blessed all that is on your list, find a way to dispose of it. You can burn it (but make sure you do it in a very safe way), bury it, tear it up, or wrap it in some nice paper and throw it away."
-- Debbie Ford