"But does America hate gays? David Sedaris is a national phenomenon. That ol' carpet muncher Ellen DeGeneres has a hit TV talk show. A pole smoker writes the most widely syndicated sex advice column in the country. Lupe Valdez, a lesbian, was elected sheriff in Dallas County, Texas, last Tuesday. And George W. Bush gave his acceptance speech standing onstage next to Dick Cheney's carpet-munching daughter and her bull-dyke girlfriend. (Let's pause here to imagine the pit in hell these two lesbos will roast in.) This shit just doesn't compute, America. Can we get some consistency here? Should we stay or should we go? I've got this cool new house—do I put it back on the market or what?
"... Provided we don't all leave, here's how we get through a second Bush term: For at least the next four years, American lefties, artists, and queers should not consider this land our land. It is not a land of opportunity that spreads from sea to shining sea. No, we live on a chain of islands, an archipelago, not a continent. Sane people live on our islands—New York, San Francisco, Denver, Seattle, Portland, Madison, Austin, Boston, and on and on, basically all the cities, in red states and blue, that voted for Kerry—and we may not be the majority right now, and it may feel like sea levels are rising, but hey, we own all the best real estate. We've got the cities, the Northeast, the Midwest, and the West Coast. And what have they got? The Wal-Marts, the West Virginias, the Alabamas, the McMansions, and the mega-churches. Fuck 'em. Let 'em have that crap. We'll fight the fuckers in two years during the midterm elections and take back Congress. And we'll take 'em on again in four years and take back the White House. In the meantime, enjoy island life."
-- Dan Savage, Savage Love.
Image from Swarthmore.
